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the law of concecration. What do I want to give up? what should I give up? what am I willing to give up? What the heck is going on? Do I give up my will- that is all that I have to give, but that means my time, energy, emotions (really are emotions there too), thoughts, money, talents... all of it. It all feels like it is mine and I have to give it up- NO!! I want to give it up.
That is the difference the law requires me to want. To want to give all that I have to God. To want to give my will, because that is all that I have to give. Sometimes I wonder exactly what is my will. I mean if everything else was given to me by God, what is left. I can scratch off the easy earthly stuff: my car, bed, apartment, scholarship, food, clothing, shoes, ring, hair holders, my body, my nose, face, legs, arms, eyes, talents, does that include my thoughts? when do my passions cross into a gift from God and my own. When do my desires cross from "my will" to what God has given me? Is there a way to have the two become the same. Is it possible for my will and all that God gives me to be the same thing? Could God give me my will? That seems like an ironic sentence, and one that I do not fully understand.
Today I had a long day- just cause I wanted to. Nothing went wrong, nothing happened, I got made at someone for a worthless thing (what made it worthless), what is wroth fighting for. Above all what do I want to give up. I want to give my all to God, but today as I sit at this computer I realize that I have to learn how to give my will to God. I think that after my little internal blow up it will be harder than I thought. There will not be a magical momement when I give all to God, and let him take the reigns. Like everything I guess, I am going to have to learn how to give my will to God.
I will have to learn what is my will. More importantly I will have to learn God's will, and then I will have to learn what I want to give up to follow God's will. I will have to be patient with myself... I am not the fastest all the time, but the atonement will help. Christ is not only my Redemer but my Teacher and he will help teach me. I think that to keep the law of concerection I should strive to become more teachable.