REG 2

The responsibility of learning. I have been thinking about the word receive for the past few weeks. It is a difficult word for me to understand, because when I think of receive I think of Christmas. All that comes to mind is gifts, wrapped in Christmas paper and a little sticker on it with my name on the to: line and Santa Clause on the from: line. As I have been reviewing the scriptures and blessings I believe that when God uses the word receive he is not talking about a box with a bow on top. He is talking about something much more, but I still have not been able to understand what. This class helped me to think more about what receive could mean.
In sort I want to know everything and was slightly disappointed that I can not know everything all at once. I was wondering why this is the case, not because… well because I get so frustrated when I know that I am not perfect. When I know that I don’t know; I realize that this is an incorrect way of thinking because it is telling myself a lie. I don’t know everything- that is the truth. Another truth is that I can know everything. The last truth is that in this life I am not going to learn everything. The last truth is what helped me to understand why God would not tell me everything at once.
When I learn more I become responsible for that which I have learned. Part of the learning process is to apply the lesson to life. God is trying to keep me from damming myself. Knowledge is not simply knowing, but becoming I guess. The type of learning I want to do is more than filling myself up with facts; part of learning is responsibility. I can see that in God’s plan. That when I learn more I am baptized. When I feel prepared I go to the temple and do work for the dead. Some time in my life when I am ready I will be married in the temple. I wonder if all of these blessings- the blessings of knowledge are based on the pivotal point of me being prepared. Like a little check list or a pre request classes? I don’t know if I believe that is entirely true… but maybe it is.
I mean although I do know people who I would not state were qualified to be married in the temple- who am I to judge. On top of that I do not even know or can not even comprehend the blessings that they have in their life- the blessings of knowledge, truth, and wisdom that enters their relationship because of their marriage. Even if I could know those blessings all I am seeking for is the “cause” of their blessings.
Is that how it works then; like my physics class, blessings are the direct cause or force of my actions. I have been thinking about force a lot lately too. Come to find out physics is amazing, and full of completely new ideas. Stop, stop, hold it right there. I love learning! Is that part of the game of life? I don’t know, but any way. I have been thinking about Newton’s Laws of Physics and I have been pondering the idea that it takes two individual things to create friction or a force… yeah an interaction. So one individual thing and then another individual thing have to have contact. This idea of physics made me wonder about my own individual soul. I came to the conclusion that if I want to interact with other people I need to be an individual- have my own ground so to say. If physics is as true spiritually as it is physically then the only possibly way for me to interact (create a force) with another person is if I am an individual. That is tricky because I don’t know if I am always and individual and I do not know if it is possible for me to become unindividual through my actions. So long story longer… I have to first be an individual.
That means that I have to come to know myself. I believe that the first focus of faith is to come to know God, but the second is to come to know myself: Who I am, what my purpose is in life, and how I am to go about accomplishing that. Oh! Oh! It all relates back to knowledge and how and what I am learning. When I know more I have a clearer understanding of who I am and therefore I become responsible to act to the true nature of my characters. When I receive revelation I become more aware of what my divine mission is and how I am to go about and accomplish that. If I do not know I am not fully aware of my individual self. Like an object, if the object is not complete… I don’t know how it is like an object. I get the fuzzy idea though, the idea that as I learn more I become closer to my true self. It makes me aware of who I am, and I am then responsible for acting that way because if I do not then I am no longer an individual. When I do not act that way I deny myself my individualness and I can no longer act upon other individuals (people, relationships…) it makes me ultimately useless. When I learn a step at a time I can learn to become; I can learn to be the individual. The point when I can be the individual is when I have received the knowledge and then I can receive more as I progress who I am individual- making me influential and effective in God’s plan of happiness.