SFL 240 final

Plan to Parent Children and Why
Joy Marie Prior
Brigham Young University
SFL 240 Section 2
Student Number 1-8384-1836









Magic fairy dust, that was the solution. The kind that you can sprinkle over someone without them realizing it. For some reason I believed that the instant someone had a child that person was sprinkled by magic fairy dust and that is what turned them into a loving parent. After learning more, I realized the patience, understanding, and tenderness are attributes a parent developed before their child were born. Even basic parenting characteristics such as listening to wheels on the bus over-and-over, picking child up from dance practice every week, and putting Band-Aids over scrapes seemed daunting to me as I realized there was no magic fairy dust that was going to save me. In this spirit I began to research several important parenting concepts and decided that reading with children and teaching children delayed gratification were the two I would discus in this essay because prior I did not think either was vital to raising children.
Reading
Beyond Cognitive Ability Development
It is important for mothers to read with their children not simply to increase cognitive ability, but it develops morals and values in a child. For parents and children reading together is a memorable family activity that costs nothing but time and love (Johnson, 1977). The beauty of reading as a family is that the energy it takes to read with children cannot be subsided by money. Unless a parent is reads with their children no matter how expensive the books on the shelf are the books will always remain completely useless if the parent does not sacrifice the time and energy to read with their child. I want to show my children that I am willing sacrifice my time to be with them.
A parent is able to convey and teach beliefs to their children while they read. Parents teach more than the strategies and mechanics of literature but they are able to express their worldviews and values while reading (Neuman, 1996, p. 4985). This can be done simply through the books that are read during reading time and the voice fluctuation.
Gatekeeper of What is Read
The parent is the gate keeper of what books are read during reading time with their child (Davison, & Lawson, 2006). The books read to children should be age appropriate. Children develop not only acquire the foundational writing and reading skills but also analytical skills while reading with a parent (Schickedanz, 1999). It is important for parents to stop and talk about the characters in the story to help children develop reasoning skills that will enable them to question proposals and presentations imposed upon them throughout life their adult life. Parents are responsible to teach child to question why Alexander was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and not simply that he had a bad day (Viorst, 1972).
Voice Fluctuation
The way a reader depicts the characters through their voice sets the mood for the plot and development. In a movie the audience becomes fully engaged in the characters and plot because of the intensity and mood set by the music (Chen, Kuo, Chu, & Wu, 2006). Just like music brings a movie to life the reader can bring the story to life by how they read. The way a reader depicts the characters through voice fluctuation does more than maintain interest, but it develops a sense of how the reader views society and the morals in the story (Hanney, Kozlowska, 2004). Because children can match a parent’s happy voice and happy face by the time they are six months old, children are highly capable of recognizing a happy or sad character (Flavell, 1999). The characters that a parent chooses to portray as good or happy will influence how the child perceives the message and morals of the story.
Importance and Personal Significance
There are many opportunities for children to learn to read in classrooms, in preschool, with teachers, but I think that parents are encouraged to read with their child for more than just cognitive development. The books that I chose to read with my children and how I read to my children will greatly influence the morals and views that they develop. The more opportunities that I take with my children to spend time and energy with them the more opportunities I will have to teach them and show them how much I love them. Money can send children to the best school, private tutors can drill children in the most rigorous manner, but nothing can teach a child how much their parents love them as spending time with them. A great way to show this love is through reading time.
Delay Gratification
Delayed Gratification
Children who can learn to delay gratification have been shown to be better able to control their ego tendencies and are considered more socially adapt (Funder, Block, Block, 1983) An individual who is capable of delayed gratification is conscious of how present choices influence the future and is able to deny current pleasures in order to obtain higher goals. It is important for children to develop delayed gratification in preparation for the dedication and determination needed to progress in employment, education, and relationships during adulthood.
The Development of the Self Identity
The development of the self as an individual is a vital and a presumably gradual development that begins in early infancy (Bertenthal, Fischer, 1978, p. 44). It is simply the ability for someone to recognize and identify themselves as a unique individual with personality, strengths, weaknesses, likes, and dislikes (Wong, 2003). It is important for children to develop a self identity to enable them to consciously make responsible choices that consider their specific personality, each of their strengths and weaknesses, as well as what they enjoy.
The Development of the Future-oriented Self
The development of the future-oriented self, or the concept that an individual’s current actions will affect the future, has become so centralized to the theories of socialization and even the very essence of the development of an individual’s identity that future-orientation coexists with the reasoning behind one’s behaviors (Walter, Shoda, Rodriguez, 1989). It seems impossible for an individual to comprehend the idea of a future self if that person is unable to grasp their individual identity in the present moment. Children with a sense of a self identity can begin to make choices in their current situation that conscious considers the wellbeing of their future-oriented self.
Values
An individuals values or undermines will determine exactly what the individual is willing to sacrifice. Children learn to value even such simple things as food. In the case of obese children who struggle with delaying their desire for food simply because of the strong value they have placed on food in their lives they are unable to develop proper eating habits in childhood that can follow them into adulthood (Bonanto, Boland, 2003). The strongest influence on children’s values are the values the parent’s model in their behavior (Whitbeck, Gecas, p. 829). Parents need to make a conscious effort in their own lives to sacrifice money and prestige in order to have family relationships if family is what the parents want their children to value.
Goal Setting Conscious of the Future-oriented Self
It is important for children to actively set minor and major goals. Children who are active in self goal setting have shown higher self-efficiency than the children who did not participate in setting goals and the children who had no goals at all (Schunk, 2010). Effective goal setting contain self and future-oriented awareness and also the sedimentation of values and morals. Prior to the development of delayed gratification a child must be capable of understanding and constructing goals. The ability to delay gratification is the conscious choice to put off initial desires in order to obtain a more valuable goal in the future.
Importance and Personal Significance
I want my children to understand the significance of delaying immediate gratification to obtain valuable goals. As a parent I can only rely on my child’s outward accomplishments or what I believe is their ability level, but my child can rely on their own self-efficacy beliefs and aspirations when they set goals for themselves. (Autumn, 1992, p. 663). I want my children to learn how to develop themselves independently. By setting goals in areas such as academics, athletics, diet, and performance I can help my children to recognize that they are empowered when they are able to delay gratification.
Both reading and the ability to develop delayed gratification are important aspect in a child’s development. There does not seem to be any magic fairy dust. It seems like the only thing that gets sprinkled over good parents when their children are born is an extra measure of love and willingness to sacrifice.


















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